Have you heard of the lovely Ava Parnass?
If you’re not familiar with her yet, I’m betting you soon will be. {Especially if you’re a parent!} Her books are so unique, so incredibly helpful, and clearly come from the heart.
Excerpts from “Listen to Me Please” appeared in Nick Jr. Magazine for 3 consecutive months. {Have you seen it? Very cool, right?}
Read more about her latest book:
“Ms. Parnass co-wrote the book “Listen to Me, Please!” with Dr. Taffel, a well known child expert. This book helps explain the “power of feelings,” the direct connection between how kids feel and how they behave.
Want a calmer, happier child, and to break the cycle of tantrums, endless negotiating, defiance, the gimees, and have more fun together? Well, here’s how: The authors have created a revolutionary, NEW APPROACH that will change your life forever. {This sounds dramatic, I know, but it really can make some drastic improvements in your home.}
It combines beautiful illustrations about everyday life, with conversation starters that will get your child’s attention and cooperation, to SOLVE everyday problems together.”
Ok, now I probably have your attention, right?
It almost sounds too good to be true, I know. Or something that will take a ton of time, or be difficult, or {insert whatever obstacle you’re anticipating here}. But really, this is such an amazingly simple approach to parenting, and all you need to do is add a new routine, once a day, that can take as little as 5-10 minutes.
Do you ever feel like NO ONE in your house listens to you?
I know that I have MANY of those type of days. Days where the kids fight and argue and whine and I swear I need to hire a foreign translator because these kids don’t seem to understand a WORD of the English that I’m speaking. {Lol, but only kind of.} And grandma comes by and lets the kids have a snack when I’ve already said no. And daddy lets the baby play outside in the dirt after I just gave her a bath. Frustrating, right? Why won’t someone, ANYone, just listen to me?
Kids feel that frustration too.
Now, imagine how your kiddo feels sometimes. He runs up to tell you about the cool picture he drew at school, and you say, “Hold on honey, maybe later, I just walked in the door…” Or you’re at the store and he’s trying to stop to look at something cool and you say, “Not now, we don’t have time.” All of us, even on our best days, give our kids a lot of “not now’s”, “in a minute’s”, “maybe later’s”… We’re all always so busy…
But that is a big reason that kids start back talking and acting out. They’re frustrated. No one listens to them. Their opinion doesn’t seem to have value, what they want never seems to count. And they don’t know how to deal with that frustration… So they act sassy towards you, they throw tantrums, they cry.
Try the “Listen to Me, Please” book!
“Listen to Me Please!” Time-In Not Time-Out
I told one of the boys to go grab the book, look through the pictures, and then tell me which picture he felt like today.
He showed me a picture of a character that was angry. This is where the conversation starts. Simply ask, “This picture shows someone that’s angry. Is that how you felt?” to make sure you’re both seeing the same idea.
If you are, the book gives you a “starter question” you can ask, to get your kiddo talking about how they feel. There are even follow up question ideas you can use, to keep things moving. Imagine now, how YOU would feel, if when you’re husband came home after a particularly stressful day, and asked you how things were going… And really listened. And asked a couple questions. Showed you that they cared about how you were feeling, that it mattered. Wow, right?
Building Connections…
By taking time to talk to your kids each day, and really focusing on them, you’re letting them know that they’re important to you. And they learn to identify what they’re feeling, how to describe it and process it, and by talking it out with you, learn how to deal with it. This goes for good days too… The more you take time to talk to your kids, the more great stories you’ll get to hear!
Example of this working:
My older nephew, {two of them live with me part time, ages 5 and 7} had been acting really mean towards his brother, and was yelling at everyone in the house a lot. Time-outs were not working, taking away privileges wasn’t working, and I was getting to the point where I was running out of patience.
We had just gotten a copy of this eBook to read…. So, we took some time to use this book together, and talk. He told me that he feels so bad when he gets mad at his brother, and hates that he’s mean to him. He started crying, and said when he hits his little brother, and see’s his sad face, it makes him feel awful. Using some of the discussion prompts, I learned that he feels frustrated lately, feels like we treat him like a baby and don’t let him have enough independence, and that’s why he’s been getting angry really easy.
I was completely floored… I couldn’t believe that I was learning all of this. I was shocked to hear him explain his actions this way. And I felt terrible that I hadn’t taken the time to listen to him earlier, and understand where his bad behavior was coming from. Together we put together some ideas to help him control his temper, and it’s working so great. Complete 180 in his attitude the last 2 weeks, seriously.
Win a copy of this great resource for YOUR family!
One winner will receive the same eBook copy that I was given to review, and can start using this great resource from Ava Parnass in their own household! {I’d love to hear a story from the winner, with how it worked in their home too!}
Rafflecopter:
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I’m halfway through, and I SO relate! This is one of those, laugh-out-loud-while-reading, so-your-kids-think-you’re-crazy kind of books! Love it.}
